Singles or Married?

Somebody came to seek advise from me, the reason why he came to me is because of social (family) problems. He is living with a fourth woman after quarrels with the first three. Yet is not happy with his latest wife, they have clashed several times and they may soon abandon each other.

He therefore asked me if it is better to live alone or continue living in his harsh marriage. I could not advise him but promised to advise him later. Can anyone there assist on that or please make it free on your web for people to debate. What is good for better life single or couple. You advise on this can make some people happy.

Comments for Singles or Married?

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Apr 01, 2008
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Response to single or married
by: Savannah

I think choices defer, being single is not at all bad and so is marriage if you go into it well prepared. Challenges alone in single can be easier sometimes. By this I mean may be it is only your feelings or future to decide on. Marriage is complex, for any decision you make, you do not only affect your life but that of your husband/wife and in most cases that of your children.

Personally, marriage is interesting when you do not have a pre-conceived mind on the ideal man/woman you are looking for. I think, which I have done is take people the way you find them and accept them for who they are and life will be easy.

Fighting aggravates situations but when you cool down and talk when sober when both parties are in control of their emotions, you can also control what you say to each other. Of course there are times when you do not match then you have to find an exit if you have tried and failed and make it as less painful as possible.

Holding up to grudges pushes you away from each other, no one is perfect but also that does not mean you take your spouse for granted. When you consult each other and share responsibilities you will enjoy each other and enjoy each other's contribution to the family.

It's important to note that we all have strong and weak points in our lives that we can capitalise on and realise your weak points and work to better each other. for example if one cannot manage anger with a bit of support people learn to manage their emotions. Look at the best sides of your spouse, it makes things much better but of course your conscience should be able to sense what is appropriate. You can tell if enough is enough.

All in all, I believe marriage should be with people who bring out the best in you. Prayer for guidance works and a God fearing man/woman is a gold mine.

Mar 27, 2008
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Marriage
by: Pirates

Firstly, I am sorry for your friends predicament. I wish him well. Secondly, how does he get married? Where did he meet the women he has been married to? Does he know these women before marrying them? How long do they date? The questions can go on and on ... because I believe married life is not easy. I think before one gets married, he/she should make sure they know their partners very well. Get to see them when they are mad. Get to know if they can put up with the certain "habits" possessed by their partners ... etc.

So if they break up, please tell your "boy" to trend slowly and carefully. Meet several girls and get to know them separately over a long time and then eventually get to make a choice marry one. Tell him not to rush. He wouldn't want to fall from the flying pan to the fire, now would he?

Thats my opinion.

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